long time no write...at all

in a little over a month i will be graduating and moving on to study the music industry at Oneonta state.

i could go on and on about how horrible my year was...but you have to move on and luckily things have fallen back into place.

joel and i after a long heartbreak have become friends again... for so long i felt so incomplete... i guess you ususally feel that way when you lose your bestfriend. Im thankful hes back in my life..even if it is a minor change, its saved me from myself...if that makes anysense at all...

it's spring and things are looking up...and all the relationships that were once left unsettled have somehow found closure...things will be better...i feel it in my bones.

its been over a month...heres the low down on what happened in that month...

...

...

...

fucking nothing.

nothing happened.

at all.

wait wait wait...i learned that love is fucking amazing...and i also learned that love is fucking shitty...

as of right now... love is not in my emotion spectrum..its just hanging around, i feel it..but i dont... im a fucking shrew..and i think i'll be a shrew for a few more days...

and my last thought for the evening...stupid sluts...

im in love with a boy who loves me.

he calls me up, tells me that he loves me. i love him too.

we decide we cant ruin the friendship.

should i be mad?

should i be greatful?

should i tell him to fuck our friendship...

i dont know...

there has to be more to life than this

i skipped school last tuesday

got caught

got iss

i'm realizing that i dont think i can handle another year at greene.

i need new people

i need new bonds

my friends can't be happy unless they're running someone into the ground with their terrible words

i honestly don't think i can make it through another year of highschool.

its time to grow up and get out

yesterday joel calls and asks me to come over and watch a movie, so we're sitting there watching baseketball, and tyler runs in and yells "we're going to see brand new for free"

so i saw brand new with 2 of the raddest boys ever. it was fun. jesse barely said anything to the crowd, he was probably pissed off cause it was a free show and he wasnt satisfied with his profit. bastard. haha. but it was a good time in general.

i met a kid named dane who i semi booked for one of the shows im coordinating. he was pretty rad and easy on the eye.  *shallow* haha

i also met up with 13 other kids from greene at the show. it was like a really bad highschool reunion. haha